Wednesday, August 18, 2010
Yes yes, I'm back in Portland. (:
I can't tell you how wonderful it's been to take a load off and really rest for a few days in the tree-filled cultural hub of the Northwest. After nonstop work and classes since last September, I was feeling a little burnt out. Coming home has been wonderful and a little confusing as well.
I've been in a groove, to say the least. I've known my place and known what I can contribute to my own little world of Provo, Utah with the friends I play with, the campus I interact with, and the ideals I flirt with. (Ideals can also be replaced with "boys" (: ) Here, however, I've realized just how small my world has been. And yet, we all lead somewhat small lives wherever we are, don't we? We have our jobs, our friends, our family, our wards/clubs/schools/knitting groups and we rarely step outside that circle.
Stepping outside of my circle these past few days--even if it's just back into the circle I came from--has opened my eyes to how much I'm looking forward to the future. It's been just the parentals and myself here in this big house with lots of memories and I've come to recognize just who I want to be when I take their places as a half-centurion parent, grandparent, and spouse.
* I want to maintain a certain quirkiness that keeps people on their toes while maintaining the dignity and authority that every parent should have.
* I want to have a collection of my talents stored in one place that I can access frequently, sharpen, improve, and use to keep me grounded as a progressing individual.
* I want to feel the deepest love and charity I've ever felt so far in my twenty-one years as a regular occurrence when I take in all I've learned and shared in the family and humanity around me.
* I want to have experienced enough in my life to offer profound advice and valuable aid to those around me both through empathy and through problem-solving skills I've developed in my life up to that point.
* I want to get away with saying words like, "bunkfest," "craptastic," and "anywho."
* I want to know another person as well as I know myself.
* I want to have traveled the world and experienced all ranges of cultures, or at least conduct myself like someone who has.
* I want to pleasantly surprise people on a consistent basis by my actions when compared to my age.
* I want to dance frequently.
* I want to laugh habitually.
* I want to be grateful always.
And at this point, I think I might just be on my way. (:
Love to all. I hope your Augusts are going as well as Augusts are meant to go.