Lessons I'm (Still) Re-Learning
Well, friends, I'm into my last semester of my undergrad and uncertain of where I'm going. But I suppose that part never changes, eh?
On the temporal matters, I'm waiting to hear back from my four grad schools. The first will probably come in the middle of February. These are competitive schools, and I don't think I can say anything of myself and how deserving I am to go to these schools. But I know that sooner or later, after sorting through thousands of applications, it all eventually comes down to who these people feel the best about. That's where the Lord comes in for my rescue. I feel good about what I'm doing, so whether the odds are in my favor or not, it will all work out in my best interest.
While that knowledge is certain in picking grad schools, it is uncertain in the other matters in my life. I don't know if I'm doing enough to become the person God wants me to be. I don't know if I'm going on enough dates. I don't know if I'm supposed to be less busy, more busy, or simply more confident.
Certain immediate blessings I've wanted very badly have simply not come around. I'm not giving up on them altogether, but I'm rerealizing all over again that the Lord's timing is not my own. It is here that I remember the lyrics to a wonderful hymn:
Be thou humble in thy weakness, and the Lord thy God shall lead thee,
Shall lead thee by the hand and give thee answer to thy prayers.
Isn't that such a comforting thought? The Lord will lead us by the hand and give us answer to our prayers. And if we are humble, our prayers will be for the same things God wants for us. And we will have all of our righteous desires.
I swear my parents are very attuned to the Spirit. My dad called me in the middle of this last week with a very specific purpose. It was right on the money. (: I couldn't help but kneel down right there in my room and thank the Lord for personal revelation. For the knowledge right then that my Heavenly Father had a very involved role in my life. And he still does.
At any rate, I decided this post would be a simple thanks for some things I've thought of. It's simple, but it's mine.
A place to live
Money to buy groceries
A confident writer-brother
A solid voice
My free extra pair of Toms
Heath in my no-bake cookies
Not being sick
The fact that I can breathe through both of my nostrils
A laidback temperament
Listening ears (Mine and others')
Dance parties in the testing center
Peanut butter and chocolate
One sister's unending interest in my life
Reusable Winco grocery bags
A disdain for too much TV
My Relief Society
Experiences with love
Cinderblocks for my bed
Rides from Matt
Subway sandwiches that hit the spot
Tithing and fast offerings
A temple in close proximity
A laptop that works
The fast growth rate of my hair
Ingredients to bake with
My TA job
A little ipod that feels weightless when I run
Janet Van Wess
Carol Lynch Williams
A fashionable roommate who lets me borrow her clothes
Extending my route on runs and feeling good
One sister's desire to serve me in many aspects
My Polaroid camera
Open family communication
Good examples of marriage
My SNES and games
The Holy Ghost
The Gift of the Holy Ghost
Modern day revelation
The true Church
And my loving Heavenly Father
This isn't for anyone, really. It's for me so I can look this up online and see it when I'm on campus. When I'm feeling a little lost. And when I need to be humbled. Because that's when I can feel my Savior's presence and know that my life has a divine purpose. I hope I can eventually consecrate all my actions so that I'm always moving toward exaltation. For now, I thank my Father for the help He gives me along the way.
I hope all of you are doing well. February's coming around. And then it'll be almost spring. (: