I’ve been reading up on devotionals about the idea of preparing for the purposes we’re placed here for. D&C 64:34 says, “Behold, the Lord requireth the heart and a willing mind.” The first thought I had when I read this just now was, “Well, I have a willing mind and heart.” But then I realized, I have a willing mind and heart right now, when I’m studying. When I’m alone in my pondering moments, I’m willing to do anything for the Lord. I’m willing to mold myself into whoever the Lord wants me to be and will choose anything that brings me closer to Him. However, when I’m in the midst of my daily actions—when I’m with friends, in class, working, etc. it's so easy to forget where I should submit my will. It’s so easy to forget who I can be in the moment of who I am. So how can I keep my daily actions in line with what the Lord would want of me? How can I be more patient in the moments requiring patience? How can I be more loving, warm, holy, accepting, meek, supportive to those I’m interacting with while I’m interacting with them? How can I be less selfish, attention-seeking, jealous, impatient, frustrated, harsh, judgmental, and condescending in the moments when I’m most tempted to act in such a manner?
I suppose I know the answer. I have to persist in marinating in the gospel. These quiet moments of reflection are my moments in the mountains. They are to fuel me for my daily interactions, but they’re only effective if, while I’m in my daily interactions, I’m constantly keeping the Lord in my mind and heart. That is why this discipleship is not a passive one. I need to mold my character into Christ’s by constantly thinking of Him and centering my actions around Him. When I am faced with a decision (and every reaction is a decision) I must first pray to the Father that I will be filled with His spirit and act according to His will. In the moment I’m being tested, I must pray to be filled with strength to be more like Christ. The important part is remembering to pray for it.
This is an ongoing struggle for me. I so desperately want to refine myself to become like my Savior. And I feel like I can become like Him, but it is so easy to compartmentalize my life when I’m actually living my life. That is my life’s journey, I suppose, to gain the qualities of Christ in my actual daily living. I pray for help in this journey to remember the covenants I’ve made, especially in the moments when Christ's qualities are most needed, when I am tested in day-to-day living.
If any of you have thoughts/advice/similar experiences, I'm up for gaining a three-dimensional view of this issue because I think it's the issue that matters most in mortality.
Happy Fourth of July. What a wonderful time to be alive!