I thought I might write about a funk I've been in as of late. These past couple weeks, I've started to notice how frustrated I'll get when I'm not living up to the potential I know I should be. I've written countless posts about changing habits, so this should come as no shock to you that I'm again struggling with finding motivation to keep improving. The problem I'm encountering, however, is that right now, it is so easy to see the extremely large gap between who I am and who I should be. I could make a long list of all the things I'm not doing well (like these blog posts, for example). And I have made these lists, mentally, day after day. I realize that I'm not as kind or charitable as I should be. Not as diligent as I could be. Not as near to my Savior and appreciative of His love as I would be if I kept Him closer to my heart and thoughts.
But this does me no good. And I've realized again and again that God does not motivate us by telling us all the things we aren't doing. Rather, He highlights the good things we are doing and then tells us, "Look at the person you're becoming. Don't give up!" It's difficult, though, to remember that when I've created my own pavilion of discouragement and downtroddenness.
So I'd like to pose a question to those who read my humble posts from time to time:
How do you balance your standing with God? How do you keep from being overwhelmed while still improving yourself?
I'm trying to focus on one thing at a time. I've been trying to be more thoughtful in my scripture study. But then I realize I've been jealous or selfish or frustrated with the people I love and I realize that I'm not particularly good at applying the scriptures I study. And so then I work on being charitable, but that's a never-ending quest I'll always feel like I'm failing. Which then drives me to focus my interactions and work hard on my talents and how I can build up God's Kingdom, but then I may get caught up in my work and stop being so diligent in my scripture study. And the process starts all over again. Do you see how easy it is for Satan to discourage us when we're trying to be perfect all at once?
I guess I need help to quit focusing on the bad things. To stop finding all the reasons that something is not right. But then, I don't want to stop progressing. Perhaps it is a matter of taking one's temperature too much. If I keep analyzing how well I'm doing, I'll probably get discouraged. Right?
At any rate, this post is not one where I've had an epiphany or that I'm trying to share some insight I've learned. Rather, I'd love your thoughts and answers to my cycling problem. I know that God loves me, nevertheless, I do not know the meaning of all things. So hopefully, I can figure out just a little better how God communicates with us and then develop our relationship from there.